Tips and toast

Apologies to everyone if we haven’t got round and commented on your blogs. Misery is battling a cold somewhat feebly and is verging on the delirious. She can’t remember which blogs we have visited and which we haven’t. We will have another go soon. I know that some of you have pawly mistresses too and for all your sakes I hope they are better soon. I know what a nuisance it is to have a pawly mistress.

Tough master on the other hand is going to work every day despite being ill. Now he said to mistress only yesterday, “Of course it is difficult for you, I have to concentrate on going to work, but because you are at home it is difficult to forget you are poorly.”

Excuse me master. Mistress has ME to concentrate on. If she spent more time talking nicely (but not too much ie not when I want to go to sleep), feeding me treats, and giving me a few little caresses now and again, she wouldn’t have time to feel pawly. And another thing, I don’t want her to pull my fur out mind – I can do that nicely myself. Oh, and she needs to straighten my throws too. And change them more often. And write my screenplay. And share her food with me more equitably.

Which reminds me I have a Pippa Top Tip to share. I don’t think I have shared this one before but I forgot to tell you about it at the time. It is the salad tip. Now, I don’t like boring old lettuce but I do like some of the tastier greens. Rocket for example, or frisee, and escarole – the sort of things with a nice sharp taste to them.

As you all know, mistress is very greedy. So when she piles a load of greens onto her plate to go with OUR (vege) burger, it often hangs over the edge. When taking up position incredibly near to mistress, ie near enough to eat all the food at one go, but not so doing, thereby displaying total restraint and wonderful decorum, one can use one’s snose to best ability.

A quick nonchalant flick, and a pile of leaves are on the floor. Of course, there may be some you don’t want, but overall it is a good dead-cert method to at least get some scrummy greens. Just go through the ones on the floor and let mistress put the rest in the bin. She won’t eat any of them naturally (they will probably be full of Pippafur as she hasn’t swept up), but she is too tight to throw them all out, so I get to choose what I want. If I am very clever with the snoseflick there may be a few pieces of tomato too.

I am telling you about this good trick because sadly today I did not get the opportunity to practise it. In spite of being the pawliest mistress under the sun, she wasn’t stupid enough to let the greens hang over the edge, or to leave her plate unguarded for even a second. In fact she kept trying to move it further and further away from me. And I was sitting so nicely too. The only good thing to say is that I ended up with most of the bread and butter because she doesn’t really like it that much anyway.

That reminds me. How could I forget? NO TOAST. Stupid master nearly choked the other day so mistress has banned him from eating toast. Why did he nearly choke? Because he was busy talking to me and telling me I couldn’t have all of his toast.

I think there are a few lessons there master.
1) Give me your toast when I tell you
2) Don’t speak with your mouth full
3) Make more toast and then there is an equal share.

It is all to no avail though. Mistress made herself quite ill panicking about him choking and sometimes there is no arguing with her. So there is a toast ban in the Pippahousehold. For now. I need to work on getting it rescinded though.

I said I was going to post about the film project but I thought the toast news and the salad tip were more important. I will try and do it next time. Anyway I am going to have a bit of a nap and catch a few cats in my dreams.

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