Top Tips

I wanted to pass on a few food tips to you all. I think it’s important that we all share our expertise on maximising the available food potential. (I am practising my management-barks again.) I think what I really mean is that we need to cram as much food down our necks as possible.

So, moving swiftly on to Tip Number One.
When mistress or master are sitting in the chair eating tasty toasties or whatever, make sure you drool all over their legs, or their clothes. Don’t aim for the floor as it will have no effect, certainly doesn’t with my two anyway. But they don’t want slobbery drool all over their legs or their nice clean trousers. So they will give you toasties to stop you drooling for at least a few seconds.

And while you are at it, always get as close as possible for maximum intimidation. About a centimetre away from the food is good – so that they know, if you chose, you could gobble the whole lot at one go. Then they feel guilty, knowing how well-behaved you are, and give you even more toasties. Either that or they worry you are actually going to drool all over their food. Hehe.

Tip Number Two.
I discovered this one the other day. I was quite proud of myself. Mistress was making tomato and mushroom sauce for the pasta. She had got some nice yummy organic food, so I was busy supervising. Well naturally she got distracted (she has the concentration span of a brain-dead butterfly, no offence to butterflies intended) and promptly dropped a tomato on the floor. Helpfully, I picked it up and carefully took it over to my sofa. Mistress and master were still yacking about nothing in particular, so I put my tomato between my paws and looked at it admiringly, prior to eating it.

Whereupon, master said: “What has Pippa got between his paws? Take it from him.” Which she did. Then he said: “Now give him a piece of cheese for being so good and leaving it.” Which she also did. Wasn’t that clever? Because naturally I got the tomato the next day with my breakfast, they weren’t going to eat it once I had carefully carried it in my mouth. I got my original prize and extras as well. Yummy scrummy.

Tip Number Three.
Now I have to confess this is the one I haven’t quite perfected – but it does have potential. This is the Snose Butt. When the brain-dead butterfly, I mean mistress, is walking across the room with her toast, or OUR breakfast or whatever else is on her plate, leap up, butt the said plate with your snose – and it all falls on the floor. And then you can either eat it there and then, or follow the above Tip Number Two technique if you wish to get even more goodies from mistress.

Anyway, my first attempt nearly worked, the plate dipped at a perilous angle, and the food was just about to start sliding off onto the floor when mistress came out of her reverie and acted far faster than normal to quickly level the plate back up.

So I would be interested to know if any pups out there have actually managed this one. Since I tried it the other day she has kept an unusually beady eye on me, so I will have to wait a few days until she forgets about it as I’m sure she will.

I hope those are helpful tips for you all.

Misery read on some pup’s blog, apols – we (ie she) can’t remember which one, about write-a-novel-in-November, so she is busy whacking out 2000 words a day at the moment. I’ve told her she has NOT to neglect my blog though.

Anyway I’ve got my thinking cap on too, so it’s helpful if she has something to keep her occupied. I have to think of five questions for the beautiful Amber over at Army of Four. I don’t want her to think I am stupid or only ever think of toast and cats, so I am trying to think of something thoughtful and insightful to ask her.

And on the subject of girlfriends, we did a count and it was somewhere around the 25 mark. Now I don’t think that is too many, so I did notice that Lacy Lulu said she was looking for a boyfriend, although she is a bit apprehensive about big dogs – but I am so nice and kind with little dogs, especially girls. And Johann the Dog said I might like his sis Gracie, well I do, I have seen her on his blog, I don’t know why you said you were kidding. She is nice – has she got a boyfriend? Does she like me?

Anyway, today, I am going to dream of Mati, Rocky’s sis. She is a lovely dog because she looks after Rocky (who is one handsome GSD – I am surprised he hasn’t got a million girlfriends), and she eats toast – wheat and rye – a girlfriend with seriously cool taste and class.

I’ll leave you with more pix from last night’s walk.



Always best to stay close as possible to master

Back through the archway on the homeward run


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