Some of you have been asking about my new feeding regime. So here are a few pointers.
The cheese and tomato toasties and the hand-feeding of biscuits are carefully linked as part of an overall strategy. You can tell I’m doing my DMBA.
So, here we go. Stage 1. Do not appear particularly interested at breakfast time. (I think Wally is probably self-excluded from this strategy).
Do not, under any circs, stand there barking and demanding breakfast, rushing around like a demented idiot. (As I used to).
Find somewhere relaxing to lie down and wait patiently, preferably with a slightly long-suffering look on your face.
When master (or mistress) brings your food, look mildly interested.
Take your food delicately and appreciatively – but never greedily.
Occasionally pause – with a thoughtful look on your face, as if to say “Have I had enough? Do I want any more?”
They won’t realise you do of course, but don’t pause too long or they might clear off with what’s left.
Always turn your nose up at the food in the tin. Insisting on hand-feeding is essential.
Stage 2. The good bit. When master gets his cheese and tomato toasties on the go – look alert.
When he brings them outside to eat – look very alert. You know the sort of thing, nose as close to the toastie as possible.
It shouldn’t take long before you get some tasty toasties – so look very appreciative and chew noisily and happily.
Preferably with eyes shut.
Remember, this needs to be a good contrast to the way in which you take your normal dog breakfast. The whole point is to persuade them to give you as much toastie as possible because they can see you get such enjoyment from it. Easy really.
Dr Pippa PhD and DMBA in Food Persuasion and Manipulation Techniques.
PS Opy has told me I have been nominated for Awesome Blog Award. I had forgotten Dachsies nominated me last month, and then it was held over. Being a post-doctoral researcher I am not a celebrity seeker – but I don’t want to be out for a duck either – so if one or two of my pals can go and vote for me I will be very grateful for that, and can then happily concentrate on my research.