TV dinners


After tea, mistress and I go and watch television.

I say after tea, but it isn’t tea at all, it’s their last meal of the day about 9pm ish, and it is invariably a manky bowl of salad. I don’t get any of it, and to be honest at that time of night, I’m not really interested. They are always eating the stuff. I only like it when she puts something interesting in, like peas. I love peas. They are scrummy.

Master then goes to bed, natch, as he has to be up early to take me out first thing. I go to my sofa and curl up, and mistress starts messing around with one of her blogs.

Then when Arrayan comes on, she comes and disturbs me and sits on the sofa. She can only perch right at the end as otherwise the ironing board is in the way. Arrayan – apparently – is a Spanish soap opera based on a hotel. A bit like Crossroads for anyone British who is old enough to remember that.

Mistress claims she never watched soap operas in the UK – apart from something called Sunset Beach – but she hasn’t done too badly since she came here. Good for learning the Spanish she claims. As if. She should be fluent by now.

So we sit there together wondering whether Alba is going to stay with her newish husband or really go back to Israel, the father of her son. Or how Charo manages to get so many boyfriends at 40+ (mistress is very interested in this one). Or at what point Blanca is going to discover that her boyfriend Bruno has been going out with her daughter (can’t remember her name).

After about ten minutes of this drivel I get bored and go and flop under kitchen table. Master and I clearly have the right idea. It’s a load of tosh.

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